After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
