I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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