i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
