Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
