I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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