she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Randomize
