this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
