Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize