Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
