Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
