I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
