And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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