she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
