you would pick up someone in the library
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
