i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
