I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
