the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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