if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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