did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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