the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize