What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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