So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize