A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize