Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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