I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
