I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
