i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
