May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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