she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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