you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
