idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
