So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize