okay pat passed out under dana's car
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
