8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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