if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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