so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
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