we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
