I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
