Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
