did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My pussy is not your playground.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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