You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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