If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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