Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize