I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize