Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
After tacos, we're chasing women.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
