I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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