My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
