What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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