just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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