There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize