so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
