Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
