Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
