Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
