We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
