She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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