I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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