Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
