Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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