In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
