I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
