i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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