I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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