feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
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