Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
